A Unicorn Weeps Rainbow Tears for Scottish Soft Drink

And we meet the guy who milks Nessie

How do you make a unicorn cry?

Berating the beast works real good for Scottish soft drink Irn-Bru.

Kelly, the tear farmer, demonstrates below, hurling invectives like “Your dad’s at the glue factory,” “You’re just a trumped-up horse with a horn” and “No one believes in you!”

Harsh, but there we are. She makes the creature watch sad flicks like Titanic, too, and changes tactics to elicit tears of joy by cooing, “Everyone wants to ride you.”

Easy, big fella. It’s just a commercial.

Meanwhile, on the shores of Loch Ness, a “Nessie Milker” practices on massive rubber teats:

He seems to enjoy his work.

The campaign touts two limited-edition flavors: Nessie Nectar and Unicorn Tears.

Seb Cardinal directed for the Leith Agency. After three decades Leith lost the business to Lucky Generals as the year began. So these spots may represent the pair’s last work together.

An unhappy development for the Edinburg shop, to be sure.

But the relationship yielded some of the U.K.’s most beloved soda campaigns. Leith is credited for helping cement the brand’s position as “Scotland’s other national drink” (behind whiskey).

So, thirty years of success. That’s nothing to cry about.